Gold digger: a person who seeks or digs for gold in a gold field. 2. Informal. a woman who associates with or marries a man chiefly for material gain. Origin of gold digger.
What’s wrong in being a gold digger?
She seems innocent and harmless, right? ?
Exchanging a perceived “love” for money.
The typical scenario of the old wealthy man and younger, often beautiful, woman is what most people think of when the word “gold digger” is used. It’s a contrast that immediately stands out and makes people very judgmental and/or jealous.
However, it’s not much different than two people marrying for other reasons: security, love, sex, power, etc.
These things are much harder to see because they are not physical attributes on display.
I will give examples of two type of people here:
1 . Gold Diggers
2 . Person Who Want A Partner With good position but not a Gold Diggers
And How being no. 1 is bad but not no. 2
Let’s imagine you are person with good income, nice car, and a home, But due to some circumstances you lost these things so how would your partner react in both cases?
In case 1 GOLD DIGGER : Your partner will start ignoring you , you will not feel same love now as that when you felt when you were wealthy and that person will start looking for other rich date and finally dump you
Where As in case 2 : Your partner will start caring for you more , they will be with you , they will comfort you , they will understand and won’t ask for dates in restaurants and will help you rise again .
What are the habits of highly-effective gold diggers?
Subtlety “Can you help me pay for the electricity? I’m running short this month.”
Patience “My car broke down, can you help me with rent too? I promise to pay you back when I can.”
Sacrifice “Since I lost my job when my car broke down, can you take care of rent and electricity for a little while? As soon as I get a job, I’ll take care of it, but in the mean time, remember that <sexual act> you wanted?”
Guilt “I’m still not on my feet, but I feel like I’ve been washing your clothes and having sex with you so you might be taking advantage of my hard times. But it’s kind of working for us, except I want to have less sex.”
Conversion “I’m pregnant. How can you ask me to work now while I’m carrying your baby? You did this to me.”
Escalation “I need $1000 a month for my credit card bills because I buy things when I’m not happy. And you’re not making me happy.”
Divorce “I need you to pay my rent, bills and child support while I do my best to prevent you from having equal custody so that I can reinforce the idea that you’re not a good father.
Also, I’ll use that man to pay for the birth of the next child I’ll have fathered out of wedlock to keep the pressure off my next victim…er husband – and make it appear that I’m the together lady you thought I was.”
How do you gauge gold diggers from non-gold diggers?
Gold diggers are masters of manipulation and deception. Do not make the mistake and think of them as lazy. They are hard and dedicated workers with their goals always on their mind. They can go great lenghts to get what they want. If you are a good catch they may invest years.?
They are looking for a provider who ideally is easy to influence. These can be young and naive people, or older people who miss something that the gold digger provides. May it be the illusion of being caring, sex, having astonishing “trophy” looks, or some kind of mental support.
Gold digging only works, because a gold digger studies her subject excessively. They have a predatory mindset and are constantly looking for weaknesses that they can supply. Also they may try to isolate you in some way, or tell you secrets you have to keep. This is how she finds out if you are trustworthy, and if you will keep your mouth shut when weird stuff starts to happen.
If you are lonely, they give you company. If you are boring, they give you the impression you are exciting. If you have nobody to talk to you, they are your shoulder to lean on and cry. They will also trade sex for gifts, or suggest ridiculous things like they will make your dreams come true if you do the laundry.
It is very possible, that the whole persona you are dealing with is made up. Again, she has studied you. If she thinks you want the sweet girl, she will be the sweet girl. If she thinks you need a smart girl, she will be the smart girl. If you want a dumb ass, she will be the dumbest.
Also it is very likely that she made things up, just so that you are similar. Her parents do the same things as your parents. Her sister is like your sister. Her hobbies are like your hobbies. Her interests are like your interests.
Because of the nature of the beast, she may be dating multiple guys. Business trips, or friends or family she meets with that you never meet, may be indicators of that. While doing this, she may be very controlling. Asking about your day, gathering information to use it against you.
So how do you figure out if somebody is a gold digger?
- if you are in love, your mind is clouded. You are easy to manipulate. If she does or says odd things write them down. Ask friends, family or “neutral” people for advice for the given situations. This is absolutely key. If you are secretive about a toxic relationship, you are lost.
- Is she manipulative in general? Does she trade favors with you? Does she suggest she will “repay” you if you buy something for her?
- Does she offer some things or actions only if you buy her something?
- How often does she pay, or does she pay at all? This can be a tricky one. She may even appear generous, but keep in mind that it is possible that somebody bought her those concert tickets. And now she is going with you to the concert. Does she leave her wallet at home often? Does she buy groceries from time to time?
- Is she telling stories about how her father provided for the family? How her sisters husband bought all the furniture? How her friends boyfriend is financing everything? Is she telling you that the man always has to provide?
- Is she wearing expensive clothes and jewelry, that she unlikely can afford herself? Probably even telling stories how luxury bags have good resale value (men buy her stuff she can sell for income)?
- Is she living in an expensive place, or driving an expensive car, or constantly travelling to fancy places, despite not having a significant income or a rich family? If so, somebody is
probably paying for her services.
Is it important for her to point out which brands or luxury stuff she, her family, or her friends own? Does she appear to have different personas? Is she sweet like honey to you, but can change instantly to a fury when talking to service personal? Do you sometimes think her “mask” just slipped. Is she keeping up with the “mask” she is portraying? Is she telling she is from rich background, but has weird manners that do not fit?
- Do you sometimes feel that something is off?
- Is she both (appearing to be) caring but also ruthless and ice cold? Is she ready to leave you if you have no money? Does she suggest you should meet less if you can’t afford to pay up for whatever?
- Does she suggest to move out instead of helping in any way?
- Is she moving to “her mother” if you are short on cash (her mother = other guy)?
- Is she charming everybody, do all your friends love her? Does she have different characters in public and in private that don’t fit together?
- Is she kind of aggressive when pursuing goals?
- Does she flirt with more wealthy or more attractive men in your presence but plays it down later? Is she testing how far she can go with flirting?
- Is she generally pushing boundaries often? This may be very subtle, depending on the skillset of the golddigger. Like the slowly cooked frog that doesn’t jump out of the pot.
- Is she too perfect? Like you can’t believe it to be true perfect? Like, suspicious perfect? If it is too good to be true, be wary. It probably is.
- Does she have narcissistic tendencies? Does she value people that are higher up on the social ladder more? Does she devalue less successful people openly?
- Is she talking a lot about plastic surgery, has she had some, or is she even talking about her ex-boyfriend how he paid for surgeries?
- Does she have antisocial, especially parasitic tendencies?
- Do you have the impression that she is always in a good mood, but still the relationship kind of feels like she is working a job? Is she putting unreal effort into the relationship to keep you hooked? Do you ask yourself, is this possible that somebody is putting this crazy effort into your relationship?
- Does she compliment you on everything? Is everything you want to do a great idea? You’re the best without exception? That ripped jeans that all women hate, she likes when you wear them?
- Does she view her money as strictly her money, but your money and your assets also as hers? Is your house or business already your and hers when she talks about? Even if you have been dating only for a couple of months?
- Does she say “we” often, meaning “you”? Like, we should do task xy, but always you end up doing it alone for her? Then she tells you how great and caring and manly you are?
- Does she want to move in very fast? Usually before talking about who does the laundry or talking about costs? After she moves in, is she hard to get out when you are breaking up? Does she refuse to move to her parents or friends, even if she lives in your house, or despite having her own appartement?
- Has she some kind of nomadic lifestyle? Nobody knows her for a long time? She switches cities or countries often for some reason?
- Has she some fairytale story about her life, assets in some foreign country that probably do not exist, is she a duchess in whatever land but without proof? If in doubt ask, check and double check.
- is she lying a lot about small things? Is she lying a lot about big things? Is she secretive? Is she asking you a lot of questions but at the same time not answering yours (gathering information to use it against you)?
- Does she stop putting in effort after she moves in or after you start “seriously” dating? Does she threaten to move out if you ask her to do something associated with house work?
- Does she literally expect you to put her on a pedestal and does she expect that you tell her often how you love her (this can be a test to see how easy you are to manipulate at the moment)? At the same time she tells you less often how she loves you?
- Is she controlling, like somebody who is watching his business?
Gold diggers come in different shapes and from different backgrounds. Despite of all of these tips, it is very hard to spot a skilled gold digger. Yes, amateurs are easy to spot because they are obvious. The pros are con artists. You literally don’t see it coming.