Signs You Are a Side Chick

All The Surefire Signs You’re Just His Side Chick And Nothing More

“if you start a relationship being the other woman, you will never be the only woman.” Bell Kariuki on Relationships

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​Sure Signs that you are a side chick and not his girlfriend.

By Bell Kariuki (InstagramTwitter

Within the past few years, guys having a “side chick” has reached an all time high. There are songs, movies, and even books about being the other woman, which is pretty messed up.

You’d think men would “keep it 100” and tell you if they weren’t ready to be in a relationship with only one person (or that he’s actually already with someone when you meet).

 Instead, they’ve gotten a lot more clever and underhanded in their tactics and they know how to keep their girlfriends and their side pieces separate.

Also, being a side chick is no longer an embarrassment to some women, which gives us men more reason to have one. 

Here are a few signs that he’s actually in a relationship with someone else.

1. He buys you sh*t to keep you happy.

Hush gifts are things he buys for you when you start talking about serious sh*t, like moving in together, committing, or spending time with his family, and an argument sparks. Because he wants to keep you as his side chick, he finds your material weakness and plays on that to stray you away from the serious topics and also to keep youaround.

2. He seems completely disconnected when you get emotional with him.

When women date, they anticipate the time in their relationships when they fall for the guy and can tell him how they feel. However, if you open up to your man and tell him how you feel repeatedly and he doesn’t reciprocate and/or tries to downplay the entire topic, this could be a sign that his heart lies elsewhere.

3. You’re never invited to stay the night after sex.

As couples get more comfortable with each other, they tend to stay over at one another’s place after sex. However, if he leaves your apartment in the middle of the night, or makes sure you never stay over at his place, this is a definite red flag. Also, keep in mind, if he has a family or“main chick”, staying until dawn will never be an option.
4. He refuses to show affection in public.

PDA (Public Display of Affection) should never be an issue in any relationship, so long as it’s within reason. But if you go to grab his hand and he pulls his away, or you never kiss or get too close when you’re out together, this could be a sign that you’re a side chick. This also gives him room to lie to his “main chick” about who you are if you two happen to be seen.
5. He dodges every photo opportunity.

Everyone is on Facebook and Instagram posting their food, kids, and significant others. Snapchat and Whatsapp make every day a motion picture production. So if you notice that your guy is dodging selfies like bullets whenever you tilt your phone to take a picture,you may be a side chick.

6. You have a “secret spot” that he tries to play off as romantic.

Every couple has a favorite spot to eat or hang out. However, if he choses to always take you miles outside of the city or to venues with very little traffic, it’s a possibility he’s trying to be discreet about being out with you, without letting you know.
Bonus

He always wants to meet late at night.

If you only meet after dark or after reasonable date hours, such as 11pm or later, chances are he has another life that he leads – the hours prior to those latenight “booty call” hours.
He prefers to stay in when you’re together.

If your guy always strays away from going out or always wants to just come to your place to hang out, this is a major side chick indicator. There’s a difference between a guy being a homebody and trying to be sneaky with your relationship. Every couple has dinner at restaurants or goes on movie dates from time to time.
You’re never invited to family gatherings. 

If you have never met a guy’s parents and children or haven’t been to any events that include his friends, this is another side chick indicator.

He has to go suddenly whenever you’re on the phone.

When you speak to your guy on the phone, if he speaks to you in a very formal tone without even addressing you by name more often than not, that’s a definite sign you are a side chick. If he’s always gotta go suddenly or straight up hangs up on you out of nowhere from time to time, that’s probably because his actual girlfriend got home.

Men With Daddy Issues

Dealing with daddy issues

Bell Kariuki on ​Relationships and Men With Daddy Issues

Do men have daddy issues? 

One huge contributing factor to why many relationships fail today and increase in homosexuality is because a lot of men have Daddy Issues! Yeah I said it.

New age Socialites and the stereotypical ‘exotic’ dancers aren’t the only ones inflicted with this debilitating hindrance. The average “Johnte” asking for your number in the mall is likely to have Daddy issues the size of a small island too. They may not be the same as the next man’s, but even though this topic is rarely addressed, (ironically because it’s not manly), it continually stalks the psyche, (often unconsciously), of many.

The world today has changed so much that individuality (Narcissism) is the new trend, doing things the way you want is correct and this includes parenting and relationships. It’s funny, how many people believe the human superiority complex. As the dominant species on the planet, too many make the incorrect assumption that we’re born with all the necessary skills to have a good relationship. I beg to differ.

These skills are acquired, and most people, (male and female alike), fail to acquire their own skills through the assumption that they already possess them; and so the cycle of relationship breakdown continues. Men with Daddy issues, have to recognise them and acquire the skills to effectively deal with them, point blank.

Deep down, every man wants to live the fairy-tale too… just like women. Yet we berate the opposite sex for being stereotypically idealistic…living in a dream world. However, all men desire the beautiful wife, home, lifestyle and memories. We want children who harness our emotional thermometer, making them easy to love by generating uncontrollable fits of laughter to overwhelming feelings of being proud; all with an architect’s precision which makes us feel alive.

But most men learn not to chase this dream. Daddy issues can prevent this, creating enough cracks in a male’s emotional foundation, no matter how impressive his armour is! If the dream comes to us then ‘great’! We’ll handle it, just like a man’s supposed to do – efficiently. However, there’s no way we’re planning for this TV-show existence.

Each man can have his own daddy issues!

Perhaps your dad didn’t come and watch you play at the basketball game. Was your place in the team based on his stellar reputation of how good he used to be in sports? Maybe you were just doing it to make him proud. Nevertheless, we all know there’s no point being a chip off the old block, if the block isn’t there to see it.

Daddy issues can cause harm when it comes to dating, on the extreme it can lead to confusion in someone’s sexual orientation (Making someone think that they are gay just like it can cause lesbianism in women)

Signs your man has daddy issues

Almost every modern man has daddy issues.
I’m not saying this in a dismissive way. Each one of these wonderful men was deeply impacted by the behavior of a father who was abusive, emotionally cold, or just plain not there. 

Unless you’re some freak of nature (always a possibility) there’s a strong likelihood that the man you’re dating could be a dude with daddy issues all his own.

Let me tell you the most important thing before we go any further: this is a man who needs and deserves love.

But loving and dating him isn’t always going to be easy. In fact, some times it can be damn rough.

Here are 6 problems you might face dating a man with daddy issues.

1. He’s got a hidden (or not so hidden) anger

His friends describe him as the life of the party. He’s sweet and funny, a total goofball and a giant pushover. But he’s got a lot of anger simmering inside him. It can manifest in a lot of weird ways. Something as simple as fallen quiche could send him spiraling.

But you know what, I mean, he did make you a quiche so there is that.

2. The idea of kids could freak him out

Sure, guys of all sorts have issues when it comes to talking about a future, but your guy takes it to the extreme. You smile at a cute baby passing on the street and when you turn to look at him there’s just a him shaped cloud where the dude used to be.
3. He will be weird with your dad

He’s charming as the day is long. He meets your friends and they love him, he even manages to charm your mother. But he’s weird with your dad. If he agrees to meet him at all he’s hostile and sullen.
He can’t separate his own dad from what it means to be any dad at all.

4. He has a hard time opening up

By month three of dating, he’s got a pretty solid sense of who you are, where you come from. Of course, there’s still a shit ton to learn, but there’s a foundation. But you know almost nothing about him. You  know where he lives, you know what music he likes, you know he makes he laugh until you want to pee, but, that’s kind of it.
He’s a closed book, not by choice, but because he’s had to be.

5. He can’t say “I love you”

Even if he really, really wants to say ‘I love you’, it’s just not possible. It’s buried deep in his throat. You can tell he cares when he smiles at you or lets loose a comfort-fart in your presence.
But for him love equals pain, and he’ll do anything to avoid feeling that way ever again.

6. Fighting with him is impossible

Try fighting with a guy who has daddy issues. Try it. I dare you. It’s impossible. Like a crab, he will retreat deep into his shell before he’ll risk expressing his feelings in front of you. 

Unless he’s drunk in which case he might start sobbing and tell you about how his dad walked out on him for a life of drugs when he was five.
How to deal with daddy issues

All men are told to ‘be a man’; which is hard enough if you don’t know how. However, it’s even more so for those boys who are told to ‘be like your old man’; knowing full well, that his 6 foot 2 inch muscular frame is something that your 5 foot 7 inch stick-thin physique is unlikely to ever emulate.

Perhaps your dad was the most intelligent, forward-thinking and achievement compiling male of his professional environment; and knowing this placed a psychological pressure on you, rather than the physical one to achieve something of comparative brilliance.

Or maybe your dad was just crap. Did he leave your mum for another woman? Damage her so badly with the open nature of his extenuating sexual exploits or controlling dominance that neither you nor her ever recovered? Most Dads just don’t know how to be a Dad.

There is no parenting manual – and he was likely to have had daddy issues of his own!

This doesn’t mean that these Dads didn’t give it their best. However, sometimes they just don’t know how to love; so he justifies his love with materialistic gifts or hollow promises.

Maybe he struggled to express any emotion effectively besides anger and laughter; and you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of either of them. His anger may destroy your face whilst his laughter, (directed at you, not with you), might contribute to the destruction of your self-esteem.

And as we know, some guys had the pleasure of their Dad being an amalgamation of all these characteristics or worse, maybe yours just didn’t exist… an unknown spectre casting the biggest shadow over any of your personal qualities or achievements. Rearing its head by the most innocuous of questions such as ‘who’s your dad?’ Some men grow up with a mother, who blames you for your absent father’s shortcomings and any resemblance in you, magnifies your daddy issues exponentially.

And these are just the tip of the iceberg but before you know it, you’re 21+, a man yourself so to speak. So what do men do? We play the stereotype…. Hard!

Sleeping with lots of women; getting into physical fights, refusing to back down, (even if it’s stupid); pursuing the financial/materialistic kudos of our age/social group. Hiding our emotions and of course never shedding a tear – unless it’s of significant purpose, like the passing of our mother of course. Even then, some men contemplate using sunglasses.

We can’t be seen to be acting like a bitch or pussy, we have to take it like a man. We have to ‘man-up’. Some women even scream this in your direction, (which is even worse, because that means she IS looking at you like a bitch or pussy), which can result in some silly retaliatory behaviour. You can see why some men would act in such a way. However, is it possible for him to have learned to deal with the daddy issues that he might be unaware of?

Regardless of the answer, the cycle has to be broken. Remember, society is powerful enough to mould and shape the majority of its individuals beyond belief. This is the world that men are navigating; a world of perpetuating daddy issues. Whilst consciously, (or unconsciously), dealing with these internal demons, he has to find a way to come out on top. He thinks he has to beat all these other men he is competing with… and then he meets a pretty girl….

32 Whore Signs (Is She Good for a Relationship?) 

Signs You Are Dating A Whore

How to identify a Slut by Bell Kariuki

By Bell Kariuki (InstagramTwitter

Most of the time, certain women indulge in prostitution out of a need for financial resources. However, in today’s world, love of authority and fame, or even the simple need to be maintained by men in return for sex, often propels women into this path voluntarily hoeizm. If you see these signs in the woman you are currently dating you need no soothsayer to tell you that she’s definitely a whore.

||| Disclaimer: this post might offend most women (and deluded men) . You might want to turn back if you’re not comfortable with the truth)

Signs to look out for :

Before writing this article, I did proper research from both my male and female friends including the older ones. These signs are more accurate than you think maybe you will learn that later in life if you haven’t interacted with lots of women already. These signs are the most likely ones to find in promiscuous women. The more the signs,  the bigger the Whore.

In my previous articles, we have already established the fact that women will do anything(including literally wear masks) to cover up for their slutty behavior and to avoid being “judged” by the society. Understand why many will frown upon reading this article. Be ware Especially of the  “Innocent Looking” girls in the hood, they hate the publicizing of such information so they can keep using sex as a weapon against you dummies.


PS: These are just signs and not evidence of any kind of behavior. These are not perfect tell tales so don’t jump into conclusion yet. Whores are not bad human beings. Just like Playas, But for real tho.  Are they worth your time? 


Pps: Be ware of hoes in denial that’s a whole different article. They are worse than  actual whores. 


Ever wondered why most celebrities are either single/bachelors/or simply into fake power relationships? Remember Jay-Z Beyonce, Diamond and “Queen”  ZARI? Here is the reason why Chris Brown doesn’t trust hoes

Signs to look out for;

1. Tattoos & Extreme Piercings

TATTOOS TATTOOS TATTOOS!

Self explanatory… 

Do we really need to discuss that?

Wow, Nice Piercings 

Piercings out of the ordinary places (anywhere else except for the normal ones on earlobes) that’s a big sign.

2. Lust for material things

She’s obsessed about money and is excessively materialistic. When her thinking is always about money, she can easily be seduced with offer of money and sometimes asks you for money after sex. She might even be running current bank accounts with an undisclosed source of income. If a young woman suddenly starts buying Louis Vuitton fashions, hanging out at expensive big city discos and taking out of state vacations, you should worry. All these things require a great deal of ready cash. Whores think about buying latest wigs, latest expensive wears, and even rides posh cars. They are so desperate in having money and opening their legs for anything so far it brings out money. They despise poverty and men who have low income.

Listen to Louis Vuitton by Fabolous x  J. Cole

3. Inability to show Affection

A whore can never display affection to her partner in public. She will always give excuses for why she can’t. Modern decent women have no problem with light petting or affectionate display in public. If she dislikes your hand on her thigh or complains about a casual brush on her ass when in public, it is a sign of emotional disconnection from you or a sign that you are below her standard and you are just a customer she’d like to be intimate with in private. If she’s already been intimate with you before, she ironically dresses sexily or she comes from a sexualized cultural background, this post-sex public self consciousness becomes an even greater red flag.

4. Always visits the gym

The gym is ripe with opportunity for women to sex. It is an atmosphere where everyone has tight, revealing clothing and everyone is there to work up a sweat. You add the testosterone that people are bound to produce through exercise and the taut, muscular bodies that inhabit the gym and you have the perfect recipe for an affair. And the trainers have an intense, personal relationship with the people that they train. Their job is to push your woman to do more than she thought she could. They are charismatic motivators and muscle bound who touch your woman regularly in all places that you dream about touching her. 

Trainers know how to talk to women because their job dictates that they build solid relationships with them. So, if your girl is always at the gym but not losing weight, then her trainer is pushing her hard, but from behind with no clothes on her body

5. Never discusses her past sexual experiences

Yolo Right? @lavisha254

First of all, women normally ask these types of questions first, so the fact that you had to ask her is your first indicator that she might be slutty. But anyway, whenever you ask her about her past, she changes the subject. When she is cornered on the subject, she blows you instead of answering you (in case you missed that, she just solved her problem with sex). Even though you asked her how many people that she slept with first, she asks you what your number is and then gives you a number that is lower than that. This means that either your girlfriend has been in the backseat of so many cars that she has lost count or she knows that 167 sex partners is a lot for anybody.

6. Speaks in favor of prostitutes & openly supports LGBT 

When she’s fond of speaking out in favor of prostitutes and admires famous women who engage in prostitution that means she is definitely one.

Her role models and sympathies often lie with the ideology and lifestyle she’s affiliated with. She doesn’t look down on women who indulge in prostitution and she sees nothing bad in it. This is usually to avoid the guilt that’s killing her inside. They also refer to it as #slutshaming

7. She smokes and drinks (Typical Party Girl) 

Smoking is a great and wonderful outlet for women to be in a very intimate one on one situation with a man with a perfect deniability of intent. People who are always drunk are usually attempting to escape their everyday lives through self-soothing. When men drink excessively, they usually go home alone. When women drink excessively, they almost never go home alone. Alcohol allows ladies to be more promiscuous and supplies an excuse for the sleaziness. Most escalations with women that happen at parties follow a similar pattern. She’s found of drinking with a guy, Smokes with a guy that will turn to intimate conversation and then to an inappropriate behavior. If you don’t smoke and she does, that’s a bad sign.

8. Late night jobs

A whore tends to have jobs working late at nights, such jobs are often refer to as “Whore creating” Such as working in a stripper’s club, bar, modeling industry or she hails from the sex industry hotspots of the world. More so if these jobs are in an environment where big men are willing to spend money to get sex, such a woman finds it easy to make side money aside from the normal income or when you show up at her job, someone always tell you that she just left. When you call her, she always calls you back after initially not answering the phone. Now, think hard. When is the last time you had sex. Believe me, if she is not doing the no-pants dance at night with you, then she is doing somebody else.

9. She has trust issues

A whore always has trust issues, even when you have proven yourself over and over again to her. She has emotional problems while forming attachments. It usually happens if she’s beginning to have feelings for you or it could be her mother has indoctrinated her against men. Her trust issues are a projection of her revulsion for men cheating on their women who’ve paid to shag her. She fears that you would do the same to her with another woman. She might want to be attached to you but memories of her customers prevent her.

10. She’s always into road-trips, Girls night out &  other  Reckless traveling escapades

She goes away for the weekend with her ‘friends’ a lot, Don’t think that females won’t cover for each other like men do. They surely will. The closer the friendship the more likely they will cover for one another. It might just be for the sole purpose of meeting men to hook up with. She travels a lot with her guy friends even she couldn’t afford it. Tells you its official or they are her distant cousins or uncles she’s traveling with.

11. Shaved or bleached Vaginal Region

Since the private part is her main source of income, your babe will always invest a great deal of time and money making it appear like an exclusive, extravagant luxury. Also be on the lookout for vaginal bleaching a new fad that is being promoted by the pornography industry.

On the other hand, your babe might not be a prostitute by deed, but by mind. If you are yet to be married and she has all these traits, you really need to think twice before tying the knot with her.
12. She always brings up the subject of sex first

The more explicitly she talks about sex before you’ve banged her, the likelier she has a storied slutty past.

She also suggests kinky sex acts

If you’ve been dating a short while and she eagerly implores you for public sex before the glow of bedroom missionary sex has worn off, you’ve got a slut.
13. Feminist / Bosslady

Feminists believe that  men and women should be equal, in short, her vagina knows more dick than your dick knows vagina.  

Where does she earn her living to afford the lavish lifestyle that most rich people can’t? 

Self-explanatory
14. She’s neurotic and disagreeable

Also known as anti-slut defense.  

Emotionally flighty girls are vaginally flighty girls. They are ruled by their vaginas. If she’s the gossipy, backstabbing, conniving sort who drips with sarcasm and generally disdains everyone around her, you can bet her black soul will seek sustenance on a carousel of cock.
15. She frequently goes commando. (Pantyless

Yeah,  as guys, we think it’s hot when we slide our hands under our girlfriends’ dresses during dinner in a fancy restaurant and discover a panty-less pussy waiting for us, but what if you notice she’s sans underwear while you’re both shopping in Naivas? At a family day out? In church? 

16. She’s got that crazy, hyper, coked-up look in her eyes.

Also known as Slut-Face

You will know it when you look into a girl’s eyes for some time, look at her and focus into her eyes.. You will see usually a mix of confusion, guilt and looking like they are  high on drugs 24/7. (Watch Nairobi Diaries, Focus on Pendo’s eyes) 

17. Gets 100+ Likes on her Social Media

Welcome to attention whore land! Chicks who can’t breathe without being the center of attention are chicks who are unable to control their craving for fresh cock. You want to be on the lookout for manic depressives and girls who can’t make it through a ten minute conversation without screeching in phony excitement.

18. She’s  “Close Friends” With Multiple  Djs/rappers/promoters/comdeians/ photographers &  upcoming celebrities

Show biz, Issa Massive Vagina-Lubricated Industry. In the world of Fame, Pussy Turns the Wheels.  Don’t ask me how they get the tickets to all the events. Wink. 


19. She shows a lot of cleavage all the time.

No worries if she’s accentuating her tits on the first date to entice you, but if she’s got those colliding death stars displayed for the world to admire every time you’re out with her,…duh 

The bigger the Cleavage the bigger the Whore. The Same rule applies to high-heels 

20. Her Role-Models are all Well known Whores

She’s following the Whores that she looks up to. Her Instagram feed is usually full of Kim Kardashian, Huddah Monroe, Vera Sidika and other celebrity whores. 

21. Her Instagram followers/following ratio is 100:1

3 Words : Attention Seeking Whore.

 
22. She *really* seems to know what she’s doing in bed.

Hey man, nothing like getting a BJ from a chick who knows how to hit the underside with her tongue, but it does make you wonder how much dick it required for her to reach that level of professionalism.
23. She has an impressive collection of vibrators and admits to masturbating to porn.

She’s a high testosterone sex fiend who values sexual novelty more than pair bonding. This type of girl is a creature of her id. High T girls are easy to spot. Check for forearm hair, narrow hips, broad shoulders, a penchant for cursing, a flat ass (adjusted for race), career ambition, and status whoring.

24. She asks you how many women you’ve slept with or accuses you of being a playa for no reason.

One word: projection.
25. She seems “hard”

If she’s got that tough, soljagurl aura about her, like she’s been through dating hell and back, and her cynicism is worse than yours, you know she’s been used like a cheap whore.


26. She’s incredibly circumspect or incredibly forthcoming about her past or sex in general

In the course of a few dates, occasionally the conversation turns to past loves or sexual experiences, or views on men and women and the dating scene. Don’t confuse this for Honesty. Normally, these exchanges are blessedly brief and act as useful springboards for other topics, but when she seems like she’s hiding something big you’ve got a right to be suspicious. Listen for tells that give the game away. Stuff like “Oh well, we all have our skeletons”. Or “I’ve learned so much growing up.” Or “Men are pigs.” (The last one usually said by a record breaking slut.) Naturally, you want to write off any girl as GF material who brags about her CRAZY and WILD college years. Believe me, those years included more than college.

27. She’s an artsy type

Or a lawyer.  The paradox of femininity is that it is often both the ultrafeminine and ultramasculine women who have racked up big numbers of men.
28. She never has a break between men longer than one week and can’t live without complaining.

If she’s the type who can’t stand to be single and monkey swings from one man to the next, sometimes with sperm-sharing overlap, odds are high she’s a slut.

29. You’re tapping her for the first time and she doesn’t remind you to put on a condom. Or she even encourages you not to use one. 

We men have an excellent fallback system for flushing out the sluts. If we think you’ve been around, we act as if we’re going to rawdog you, only to reach for the condom at the last possible second. If you haven’t reminded us to put one on during the long pre-penetration buildup, and it looks like you’d have been OK taking our unwrapped meat, we have all the evidence we need that you’re a skank.

30. She never stops shit testing you.

A girl who is constantly testing you for alpha congruency is a girl who would jump to another man the moment you betatize yourself. Worthy girls keep the shyt testing to a bare minimum. Turn on your love light, baby. (shyt tests = tests of your manhood, things that women do to put you on the defensive and cause drama)
31. She buys you a lot of gifts.

I’m not sure why this is a leading indicator of sluttiness, but in my experience it is. Especially if she showers you with little gifts early in the relationship. I open the floor to a discussion of theories for this particular observation.

32. She’s OK with making out in clubs.

Self-explanatory. 

The list is long. You might add other signs you have experienced too in the comment section. 

Common Hoe Excuses 

So if your girlfriend is an attention whore (or you think she is), then you have to do a couple of things:

Have a lot of patience. The only way you can date a girl who is an attention whore is to be a man of great patience. You have to have the utmost self-security and self-assurance. You have to know that you’re the best man in her life and that she will crave attention no matter what you do. In fact, if you try to fight her attention creating tendencies, then you will only work against yourself.

Be a strong leader. An attention whore will only stay loyal to a man who is strong enough to keep her in line . If you are not such a man, then you will walk into a world of hurt.

Be a great lover. Attention whores usually have very high sex drives. They spend time fantasizing about the best lovers . So if you can’t rock her world in the bedroom, then she is very likely to seek out someone else who she thinks can get the job done.

So if you can’t do any of these outlined things – and in some cases even if you can — the best thing to do with an attention whore is to break up with her . You will save yourself a lot of pain and frustration in the long run. And you can use all of your newfound energy to find a girl who is much more well-adjusted and loyal. This may be somewhat painful to hear or act upon, but the most beneficial things in life often are.

WRAPPING UP

Beware of the attention whore.

She brings nothing but bad news into your life.

They say that knowledge provides us with the greatest power. And now you have the power to know whether or not a girl is simply stringing you along. And if she is, then you have no choice but to cut that string. You now have no excuses (and no, her being one of the most beautiful women you have ever seen is not an excuse). You are a man. You are better than that.

And as they say: you can’t turn an attention whore into a housewife.

PS: Sluts & Whores are not bad humans. They are just not the best type for relationships.

Bell Kariuki

Learn to Respect Women. Not Whores